The following articles did not appear in various Unity newspapers on the first of April 1923.
TheUnityReporter: DOUBLE TROUBLE! PAIR OF MONSTERS TRASH DOWNTOWN UNITY!
Terror stalked the streets today as not one, but two collosal fiends destroyed a vast area of Unity yesterday evening. Shortly after midnight, residents of the JenksHill area were awoken by crashing sounds, and emerged to see the terrifying spectacle of Great Cthulhu, a hundred-foot tall tentacled monstrosity, crushing buildings and devouring the unfortunate citizens within. The Great Old One was accompanied by a number of Star Spawn, themselves several storeys high, who terrorized stragglers. "It was horrible," said eye witness Franklin Mint, of 3rd Street, "There were people running and screaming all over the place. It's enough to drive you mad." Moments latter, "Black Goat of the Woods with One Thousand Young" Shub-Niggurath emerged from parts unknown, and proceeded to join Cthulhu in an orgy of destruction that lasted almost an hour. After their daemonic appetite for mayhem had been sated, the fiends moved off in the direction of VillersHill. Cthulhu was last seen climbing the [[WHPLRadio|WHPL Radio]] tower, clutching an attractive young woman. If you were that woman, TheUnityReporter would like to hear from you!
TheUnityTimesChronicle: CTHULHU, SHUB-NIGGURATH ATTACK CITY
In a bizarre yet destructive incident late last night, the Great Old Ones Cthulhu, previously thought to be sleeping dreamlessly in the sunken city of R'Lyeh, and Shub-Niggurath, Black Goat of the Woods with A Thousand Young, attacked the JenksHill district of Unity, apparently without provocation. The pair, who were accompanied by an unknown number of Star Spawn, caused considerable loss of life, and damage to public and private buildings, before making off in the direction of VillersHill. While preliminary identifications of the culprits have been made by the few surviving eye witnesses who are not currently in the care of UnityAsylum, police are remaining cautious as to the possibility of swift arrests. "We must as always conduct this investigation by the book if we are to achieve the desired result in court." said Chief of Police [[LloydMcDonall|Lloyd McDonall]] in a statement issued shortly after the incident, adding "It's going to one hell of an identity parade." Members of TheUnitySociety were unavailable for comment.
<<< Hmmm. OK. It seems April has now happened. -- BenChalmers >>>
DodgsonDiscusses: Great Old Ones Not So Great
You will have no doubt heard about the recent attacks on our fair city. While I would never celebrate another's misfortune, I believe that at least one good thing has resulted from the devastation. It is a wake-up call to alert us to a threat to our way of life, a threat we have ignored for too long. This threat is even greater than that of corpulent, non-union tradesmen and their miscreant offspring. I speak, of course, of the threat of hundred-foot tall creatures from beyond the cosmic gulfs of time and space arriving and trampling on our houses. As a town, it is our duty to do something about this supernatural menace. But what can we do, you ask? The answer is simple. We must fight back! Their immense size may give them the advantage when tearing the roof off an orphanage and feasting on the helpless children inside, but it will also make them easy to find. So, who is with me? Grab whatever weapon you can find and meet me on JenkinCommon at midnight, when these creatures are certain to show themselves. Yes, one glance at them is enough to bring the walls of sanity crashing down, but I have faith that the insurmountable Unity spirit will see us through. Join me fighting the good fight against these cyclopean horrors! We have nothing to lose but our minds!
